Meditation I actually love doing

I’ve tried many types of meditation to calm my ever restless mind and to… emmmm… be a good person who meditates. I know, I know, that’s not the way to do it but I did it anyway. And then, I no longer remember how, I stumbled across Jessica Snow. She is a Los Angeles based meditative storyteller and energetic alchemist – to quote her – and a magic maker who made me love meditation.

The thing is, she takes me right to the source of my own imagination, to places inside myself I didn’t even know exist. Her guided meditations are like ingenious daydreams where I connect not with just myself but with nature. And what I am always reminded during those journeys is that in nature everything is as it should be. It’s only when we (or me) interfere with that natural order that things get messy or weird.

I’m not even going to try and type down the adventures I’ve had while listening to her on my headphones. I’m just going to say that she is good. Really really good.

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Above: A treasure box full of objects that I collected near the Arctic Ocean – each piece is perfect just as nature intended.

Life as it is

Summer, oh summer. It was a bit strange to surrender into doing nothing. By nothing I mean just being and enjoying ordinary life as it is, sans any special projects. But now it’s been three weeks and I’ve taught my son to eat by himself, read a few books, baked a delicious carrot cake, taken sweaty cycling rides in the woods, and visited many new neighborhoods and playgrounds in my home town. That’s about it.

Next week my little boy starts daycare and I go back to work in my new studio nearby. I have a few projects lined up and a strong feeling that something completely new is bubbling under. Exciting times!

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Above: This morning in our kitchen

House of art and magic

My friend Maritta is a sculptor, painter, and a spiritual being. Her home and greenhouse atelier are both filled with beautiful objects, charming energy, and magical light. I visited Maritta’s house a few days ago and when I saw her beautiful flower arrangements, I had to dig out my camera.

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Photography: Laura Iisalo

Den Haag

I just spent a week in Holland with my family. Our first stop was The Hague – or Den Haag as I prefer – where we rented a beach house near a large nature reserve. Not many people know that Den Haag is a great place for a beach holiday but it is! The weather was a bit chilly when we visited but that was fine – instead of swimming in the sea and barbecuing we spent our days cycling around the beautiful dunes and visiting the surf style beach restaurants nearby.

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To be a mother

Last year I became a mother to little Taiko. At 37 I was relatively old but it still happened pretty quickly. I used to think that I would be happy just working, traveling, experiencing life without children. And here we are, me and him, and in these past ten months we have become a great team.

Before Taiko was born, a friend of mine told me that life doesn’t change that much after having children. I have to disagree because life really does change – hello nappies, restless nights, and just generally looking after a little human being – but I somehow know what she means. I feel that I’m still the same me, even more so. With children there’s no space for faking. Becoming a mother has added a layer to my identity. I’m discovering a new, softer side of me.

Sometimes I’m exhausted but I’ve been more tired before. When I was younger I used to party too much, then work too much, or trying to achieve something with force that was just too much. I guess I’m one of those people who don’t always recognize their limits. Having a little baby staring at me has forced me to pause. This is probably the first time in my life that I don’t compare myself to others or feel inadequate.

I’m proud to be a working mama. Work feels more meaningful now. It feeds my little one and is another source of purpose for me, something that I don’t take for granted (anymore).

I never completely trusted that I could or would be a mother and life could have turned out differently. But I am a mother and I love it. Every day my heart melts a little bit more.

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Above: Me and Taiko in September 2018